Hey Mandy,

Can I call you Mandy? This is my second open letter to you, so I thought we might be cool or something. Anyways, a few months ago I reached out to you about your issues. You never got back to me and that's cool.. I know you're busy. There's only so much time in the day to tell Drake how ugly he is or how beautiful he is. You're really messing with his ego, Mandy. I also know you have to tweet at least 5 times an hour and I know it must be hard to come up with such fascinating things to say. Are you trolling Pinterest for those inspirational quotes?

Drake Is The Most Gorgeous Man On The Face Of The Earth
— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes)

But I digress.. I'm not here to accuse you of having a problem this time. Nope. In fact, I've decided that you don't even have a problem. (I can feel people looking at me like I'm crazy through this blog post) What I'm trying to say here, is that I've figured it out. The Amanda Bynes Equation that we've all been staring at on the imaginary white board for months.


It's all one big act.

Yep, you heard me. It's fake. There has been some talk of this in the media already, but not much. Some people are still entertaining the fact that you might be on drugs and I suppose you could be.. but that's not what this is about.


Let me break it down.. you were a fairly successful child actress. I'd venture to guess that you had it pretty good on the set of All That. Then there were movies. They weren't blockbusters, but I still maintain that She's The Man is one of the only movies that I can watch over and over again. In 2010, Easy A was when it started to get a little weird. You looked different in that movie and shortly after you started acting weird and then announced you were retiring from acting. I'm sure this was all part of your plan. You disappear off the face of the earth and then return in 2012 with your very erratic behavior. You were arrested several times for offenses involving your car and drinking. People started to worry. Then you just went nuts.

At first people were worried and I was too. People wanted to help you and you were not having any of that. But here's the kicker.. this whole time you were back in the news just like that. Everyone, everywhere knew who you were again and you were being talked about. What celebrity doesn't want that?


It's been months though and you only seem to get weirder and weirder. You tweet, you take it back, you delete it, then you tweet it again. At this point people are over it. I'm way over it. Then it clicked! It was all part of your plan, but now it's crumbling. You've help up the act too long. If this was all some sort of experiment, you should have concluded it weeks ago.


Here's what you should do.. Go away. Disappear again, go somewhere to hide, and write the book. Get yourself together and then come back with the tell all because I am dying to read it. You'll be on all the news shows saying how you were just conducting an experiment about young stars in Hollywood. People will love it! You can still save your career girl, just get yourself a publicist (and a good one).. then just go away, write the book, and explain the whole phenomenon once and for all.

All the best,
Sami